Running, it seems more than anything else, has been a constant in my life.  As the daughter of two foreign service workers of Public Health, I've moved six times in between three continents, and am more comfortable bargaining in a street market than finding my way through an American mall.

The first time I realized that I loved to run was during a school organized race when I was eight years old- at the time living with my family in Zambia.  The entire school was split into two teams and required to participate in the three school-wide sporting events each year: Cross Country, Swimming and Track & Field.  The cross country race for my grade was probably not much longer than a kilometer, but to my then four foot something self, this was huge.  I was instantly smitten with the entirety of running- the adrenaline, the rushing heartbeat at the starting line, the command to go ("Eh kids, don't go pushing each other alright! I'll say go and you go, it's not I say go and you all kill each other, you hear?"), the actual running, and the long awaited finish.  Needless to say, Cross Country Day soon became my favorite of the year, and when my school finally organized a Track & Field team, I happily joined- although being one of the only International Schools in Zambia meant that meets were few and far between.  It also meant that  we would compete against local schools, at which we would promptly get our behinds handed to us by the barefoot-running, tireless Zambian children against whom we would happily race.

Being younger I did not realize the importance that that first day of running had on my life, but as I look back I can't help but do so with a sense of awe.  Standing at the line with me were all the girls in my grade (the school was small, my class of about 31 was the largest), all of different nationalities, economic backgrounds, ethnicities and religions- all giggling together and asking nearly in unison if our ponytails looked alright (for the boys in our third grade class would surely be watching), and wondering how each of us would do during the race. Running, I've come to realize from looking back on that first race, is not only a large part of me, but also a part of us as people. You don't have to be rich to run. You don't have to be poor to run. You don't have to be White, Black, Asian or Latino to run. You don't even have to be fast.  Running is a sport and a love that can be shared with everyone; it has the gift to humble everyone, as well as to exert in all of its participants a pure sense of joy and euphoria.

As I start my senior year of high school, I wonder what the future seasons of running will yield: hardship and sweat, no doubt- but with it there also accompanies the glowing prospect of accomplishment and joy. And I, personally, am looking forward to all of it. For it’s running, and if there's one thing I can be sure of, it's that I love it.

5K

Third day into my final High School season of Cross Country, and I am feeling fantastic. Not fantastic as in fantastically fast, but I’ve found myself enjoying running more than I have in a long time.  Previously, throughout my High School running career I’ve been constantly struggling against shin pain.  It reared its ugly, yet familiar head during many running seasons, so while I should have been peaking, I was instead limping to the local gym for another day of cross training.  After telling myself time after time that the pain would eventually go away, with the urging of my coach and parents I went to the doctor to find the source of the problem and to address it head on (despite popular belief, teenagers may not, in fact, be invincible to all and any injuries- however I still stand that the topic is debatable).  Soon I was going to physical therapy and adjusting my “heel-striking” to become more of a “forefoot” runner, which allowed me to put less pressure on my shins and hence soon relieving the pain.  Not long after that, I was running pain free.  The difference was incredible.

Coupling with the difference in running form this year has been my difference in mentality going into the season.  Instead of stressing about races or time trials or runs, I feel like I’m entering the season more in control. I didn’t overexert myself over the summer (instead I went abroad-which prompted an entirely different training regime that I will talk about later), but I did not slack off either.  Instead, I exercised the amount prescribed, all the while keeping my form in check.  If I had a bad run, I learned to shrug it off and focus on how I could improve so I wouldn’t hit the same barriers again.  Coming off of a 30+ hour trip and into tryouts at the end of the summer, I decided to run (starting with the mile time trial) how I – and my body – knew how.  My mile time ended up being slower than last year’s, but even so I did better than I thought I was going to, and I wasn’t exhausted at the end, and so I mentally tallied the trial as a success rather than a failure.  In the practices since then I have focused on slowly bringing my cardio back up to its normal state after travelling, I’m not going to overexert myself (which could lead to injuries or an early season peak) but I will push to get the results.  With the 5k time trial coming up on Saturday I’m neither nervous nor confident, but rather curious.  During a race I will push myself to get the ultimate results I can out of my body on that day, and at this point I’m not sure what kind of result that will be.   If it turns out to be the kind of time I’ll cringe upon hearing, I’ll cringe and improve.   As long as I finish happy and healthy, I’m counting it as another success!  So, cheerfully, and rather blindly, I will breathe the familiar adrenaline filled air at the start of the 5k, and soon see exactly what kind of shape I’m in.  From there I’ll be given my starting point to build on for the rest of the fantastically, happy season.

Tryouts Are Over! The Season Can Begin!

The 5k went pretty well,  I was around 15 seconds slower than last year, but for my training over the summer (I’ll get to that at some point), I’m happy with it! And I’m incredibly excited for the first actual 5k.  The general atmosphere was better than it has in past races also, instead of fussing about who came in first and who came in second, there was more of combined happiness that we survived.

However, I’m not going to lie- I was terrified at the beginning.  I kept on reminding myself that it was just a time trial, but I started getting as stressed as I had in past seasons.  Once we got to the line, I tried again to remind myself to be calm- that I would run as fast as I could on this day, and as long as I did that, nothing else would matter.  Then, sadly, my stressed side told myself to shut up.  I was standing next to my younger sister and four other of the girls I had been running with previously during the week of tryouts, all as nervous as the next- I think we often forget that we are not the only ones that get worried or scared, that everyone in susceptible to the same things.  Instead of psyching ourselves out though (as I was doing to myself in my head, despite my efforts), we started laughing and trying to think of cheers.  I don’t actually remember everything that we said or laughed at, but just by smiling, the air soon became easier to breathe, the monstrous hills imagined ahead seemed to sink back into the ground, the endless expanse of asphalt that had laid dauntingly in front of me regained its normal length.  Earlier in the week when I decided to take on the season with a happy stride, I did not realize that to do that I would need help.  Running is often classified as an individual sport, but in truth it runs (no pun intended) much deeper.  We are pushing to become individually faster and stronger, but it would be impossible to reach our maximum potential without the support of our friends and teammates.  It’s hard to forget you’re not the only one trying to get better- we’re all the same, striving to push the envelope a little more, and we don’t have to do it alone.

Nepal

During my sophomore year of High School I was able to take a semester abroad to Nepal, it was a fabulous opportunity- the only problem was that it was during Cross Country Season.  After much pacing and wondering and worrying, I eventually decided to forgo one season of Cross Country in order to study overseas.  This would be the first time that travelled internationally while at the same time trying to keep in competitive running shape.

While in Nepal we lived about 50 meters away from the royal palace, which was enclosed by a concrete wall and surrounded by an uneven brick path that measured about two kilometers long.  This is where I would run, but all runs had to have a plan.  Since the Kathmandu streets would get so busy during the day, my safest bet for not being the cause or effect of a traffic accident was to run early in the morning; around 6a.m. the streets were mostly empty, save for a few pedestrians, fellow expat runners, stray cows and chickens, and a couple of rickshaws and taxis.  For about an hour I could get in a relatively decent run, during the calm before the chaotic storm of another work day bloomed throughout the Kathmandu Valley.  Being a girl, however, I still had to be cautious.  Women, in that part of Asia do not typically wear shorts, and so I would only wear them if I could get up extremely early when the streets were close to deserted. Otherwise I would wear light leggings underneath my favourite Nike track shorts.  Women also were not known to exercise much, and so while I was running I was often stopped asking if I needed a taxi or rickshaw.  Sometimes it took a while to explain that I was actually choosing to run, and that there was a sort of method to my seemingly strange madness.  No wonder the rest of the world thinks Americans are bizarre; I’m probably not helping with the reputation… sorry about that.  However, there were days when running was easier.

Nepal’s government, both currently and when I stayed there two years ago, is not been the most stable the world’s ever seen.  Not too long ago Nepal’s royal family was murdered, which threw the nation into a chaos that would be expected after such a horrific event.  However, even though the violence has died down, the consensus on who actually is running the country is not altogether clear, and the Maoist rebels still hold strikes and demonstrations to voice their opinions.  These demonstrations/strikes - or Bandhs (whose pronunciation always reminded me of Bundt Cake)- occur often by will of the Maoist regime and demand no vehicles be on  Kathmandu streets, which coincidentally also cause schools to be shut down for a day or so (instead of snow days, we had Bandh days).  On these kinds of days, I could run almost whenever I wanted because of the lack of traffic; however I would still try and get the run in earlier in the day when not as many people were awake.  For again, a foreign girl in foreign clothing running down the streets of Kathmandu (running from what was any bystander’s guess, which some would, loudly) jumping around cows and street sellers and potholes- is not altogether ordinary.  And as a teenage girl, I do often strive for ordinary.

College Days

Pressured by the realization that sooner or later I will have to apply to colleges, today (on the last day of summer) I went on my first college visit of the summer.  Or to clarify, today my dad took it upon himself to drag me to any school close enough to drive to and back from in a single day, the plan being:  “Get in. Get out. And nobody gets hurt”. College visits can be a painful process.

One of my only real requirements for a school at this point is that it has a Women’s Cross Country team, and so I was relieved when I found that the school had both Cross Country and Track teams.  (Notice how in college it’s not “Girl’s Cross Country” anymore, as it is in high school.  I wonder “Boy’s” changes into “Men’s” too. I doubt it. They never grow up).  As soon as we arrived and got a snack, we head straight towards the athletic facilities!  I didn’t realize that most colleges also have a field house with an INDOOR TRACK (!),  and after standing on tip toe to try and see in, we discovered that someone had accidently left one of the probably-should-have-been-locked-to-keep-out-people-like-us side doors open. So naturally we went in.  Everything was perfectly quiet (except for my staggered gasps, for every time I turned around and saw something new), mature looking, and clean for the start of a new school year.  We didn’t stay too long at the school, which was nice, so it didn’t feel overwhelming or pressuring at all.

However, going to visit the college meant that I missed today’s cross country practice, which meant I had to run alone.  Usually I enjoy the “alone runs”, but this year I’ve found its easier to stay on pace and cheerful during the run if I can do it with someone else.  Although once we get into the school year and tests and essays start piling up, I might enjoy the occasional weekend de-stressing run again.

All in all, it was a good, running-focused day. The college town even has a local running shop! I didn’t go in; I think I would end up spending all my savings in one go. The main thing though, was that I liked the school a whole lot more than I thought I would.  And even though I would never usually admit it, my dad was right, it was good that I went.   College is becoming more of a reality than a haunting nightmare, as long as I can run on that indoor track.

First Race of the Season

After having two days off because of the effects of Hurricane Irene, school finally opened and the pattern of run-homework-sleep-school-run has begun.  Today we ran trails and Irene certainly left her mark: there was more jumping over trees and skipping over branches than I was used to on the otherwise familiar trails.  However, I was reminded of how good it feels to actually get outside and move after sitting still (save for the mindless trudging from class to class) for seven hours.  Also, I have been running at the same time, after the same daily routine for more or less three years.  I like change, and am excited for college, but I will miss the three o’clock runs over the cross walk, up and down through the local community college, and into the trails.  You reach that point where you don’t have to think as much about where you are going, your legs automatically move over the worn paths that have allow to train and run and grow.  And I’m not sure I want to leave that.  From moving and travelling, I consider myself used to and familiar with change(leaving homes and pets and backyards and friends and best friends behind), but that doesn’t mean that it still isn’t hard.  And I think I forget that sometimes.  Again, that’s one of the main reasons I want to run in college: running can always be there, no matter where you are.

Aside from being reluctant to grow up, we have our first meet this Saturday!  It’s the County Relays meet, where some of the runners compete in the relay and some run the 5k.  For the relay, competitors pair up with another run from their team: The Runner A runs a mile and a half, then Runner B a mile and a half, then A again, and race ends with the Runner B. It’s a nice way to start the reason, mostly because we know that we won’t be racing a cross country relay for the rest of the year, so we don’t have to fret as much about our times.  The only thing I really don’t usually like as much about relays is that you have to hold the baton, and I’m always afraid that I am going to be the one that drops it, struggles to pick it, drops it again, and then trips.  However, if my memory serves me well, I think this relay meet doesn’t require the runners to hold batons; we just tag our partner after finishing our mile and a half.  I hope so at least.

Winning Is Fun

County relays went much better than I expected.  I teamed up with my sister, and if I can say without sounding too arrogant or conceited… WE WON!  We were silently hoping to place, as we were going to be competing against a number of talented runners, but we found ourselves on unfamiliar turf during the race when we realized we might actually win.  Going into the run we were pretty relaxed, my sister and I continuously reminded the each other not to be mad if we completely botched up the race.  And if we did, we decided we’d probably have to make up for it by going out to eat afterwards. Actually, now that I think about it, we decided if we did do well we’d have to go out to eat too, either way food was in the equation… it’s weird how that always seems to happen.

One of the reasons I was especially happy about the race was that we didn’t worry, mostly because we had absolutely no idea what we were doing.  Before the start, the girls who would be in the relay decided to “breathe”, which means we take slow, calming, controlled breathes together before toeing up to the line.  There were six of us (three sets of two person relays) and five of us were familiar with the routine from last year.  The sixth had no idea what was happening, when all of the sudden one of us said, “let’s breathe!”, and we all started huddling together in a somewhat cult-like, with our eyes closed and breathing deeply.

In the relay race each two person team was required to take turns running 1.5 miles, so that together our total mileage was six miles.  I started the race and tucked in conservatively until the pack started thinning out a bit and it was easier to move (one thing I need to work on is running more aggressively to avoid getting boxed in at the start of the race, which happens every single time).  By the time I tagged my sister so she could start the second leg of the four part race we were in a comfortable third, and even that was a little too close to first place for comfort.  She ran a phenomenal leg and got us into second place, I was somehow able to pull into first, and my sister finished by maintaining our lead and giving everything through the finish, and I was so proud! I really enjoyed teaming up with her, I’ve been through more with her than anyone else, and we seem to always be balancing each other out.  In this case, it worked well enough for us to win a race.  Even better is that everyone did awesome in their respective races (those not in the relays competed in the open three mile race), and everyone was whooping and cheering for everyone else.  The guys, some of whom we often run with at practice, flew over the course!  At the finish line you could see them all coming in one after another, with the majority of their times being sub-20 minutes! And if I can add, we are literally only three days into the school year.  The other schools in our division better watch out.  One school, who will go unnamed (but it does start with an “H” and rhymes with “air ford”), is not in our division but is in our county, and I think we gave them a run for their money, pun intended.

Cross Training is My Friend

Mother Nature seems to be trying to play a role in Cross Country (see that, XC has gotten so popular even Nature wants in!).  Including summer training, so far the 2011 Cross Country Season has seen one heat wave, one earthquake, and one and a half hurricanes – apparently right now we are getting the leftovers of Hurricane Lee.  That means that this year, more than most, we will be able to see which teams decided to cancel practice (wimps) and which ones decided to do anything to get it the exercise!

Today though, to be honest I did go to the gym instead of run.  To offset any injuries, I am cross training some days instead of attending practice. Today I was especially sore, we had had a meet on Saturday and I’m not sure I fully recovered; I plan to relaaaax tomorrow though before another race on Friday.  Also, I fell (big surprise) yesterday and my… tail bone… hurts.  Fortunately, or unfortunately, there is another girl on the team who also goes to the gym some days so I don’t have to endure the smell of many people sweating in one small room by myself.  Actually, I think it’s more the fact that I’m not running that makes going to the gym the most difficult – I’m convinced I’ve become somewhat immune to the smell of sweat.  I’m still trying to figure out if that’s a good or bad thing.

After practice, however, there was a team meeting so the other girl crossing and I were able to join our teammates for the stretches.  And I stretch much more thoroughly when I am with the team.  One of the last things we talked about at the meeting was making a mantra for when we run, and we are supposed to have one by tomorrow.  I remembered a Runner’s World Magazine from a while ago had an article on mantras, but just like everything in my room, I have no idea where it is.  Thankfully, they save everything on the internet now too, so here’s the link: http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-238-244--13819-1-1-2,00.html
My favourite one I think is “Turn and Burn”, which I might admittedly borrow as I am tired of hearing my own words in my head when I run.

On a similar subject, I sometimes like to have race songs as well.  My most well remember is “The Dog Days are Over” by Florence and the Machine.  I first started using it during Indoor Track last year.  It was the first race after being hurt for a long time, and I was getting pumped up with two of my most favourite people ever.  Between the three of us only one remembered their iPod, and this is the song we chose.  I completely butchered that race – I was out of shape and had no idea what I was doing.  But it was almost the most fun I had had running in a long time, I was pain free.  If you want to use the song, I suggest the original by Florence, but some people prefer the Glee version.

Finding Confidence

Supposedly, for some, the way you run reflects the way you live. I don’t know if I’d take that one hundred percent to heart, but I guess there’s some truth in it.  When I run a race, as I have probably mentioned, I run almost completely defensively.  I hold until the pack has passed me, and then settle in behind someone while I wait for space to open up.  Even if we are just in practice, I run with a similar mentality: if another runner and I come up to a narrow trail at the same time, I generally let them take the lead.  The logic I claim to always letting people get in front of me is that I’ll probably slow down eventually, and I don’t want to hold them back.  Or, that they might get mad and not like me.  Both are frightening.

So here’s to stopping that (or at least slowing down on that).  My resolution is to start speaking up and standing up.  To stand up for something, an idea, or a person, when there is another person to stand up against, sort of make my knees go weak.  If we have a team meeting and I have an idea, but am afraid it contradicts what a teammate said, I need to just suck it up and say it.  I have an opinion too, and I have a voice, and I need to start using it.  I usually don’t want to get anyone mad or think I am undermining their authority, whether they were given it or not - for example when runners assume the first or a prime position in a race.  I’ve worked just as hard as the girl trying to box me in, darn it, and I need to stop taking the self-appointed alphas’ crap.  During the Relay Meet last week I improved greatly on this.  I did hang back for the first bit but slowly I began to realize I really should be ahead of the girl in front of me who kept weaving from side to side every time I tried to tentatively pass her.  So head held high I passed her with as much of a pickup as I could, sweeping past and gaining confidence.  Granted, I was on a relay team so I didn’t feel quite as alone as I might on normal races.  But even then, I will have my team to back me up! We will all, always, have the support of the team.

So here’s to being done with taking all the trash! Done with being so much of a pushover! Done with being boxed in, pushed around and cut off!  Or here’s to the start of change, because as a friend told me Tuesday, in a non-running situation (though I did edit two words), I just need to stand up and get some gosh darn confidence.

But that does not mean you can’t be nice!(:

First Home Meet

First meet at home tomorrow! It should be fun, although honestly I am a little nervous – there is going to be a coach there from a nearby college, so I want to do my best.  But at the same time, I’m just sort of curious what my time will be, and I just want to have fun.  My own personal performance in the recent relay race was better than I ever thought possible, but I’m not at all going into tomorrow’s run thinking I will have the same results.  The season is still beginning, and I’m still just building into 5k racing again. So all is good.(:
This weekend I ran on the Alter-G, an anti gravity treadmill that, yes, is just as cool as it sounds.  You have to put on these spandex shorts that can zip into what is basically a bubble surrounding a treadmill.  Your weight is then decreased in the bubble by percentage.  For example, after zipping up on Saturday, I was able to run at only 80 percent of my body weight. The only problem is when you have to put your weight back up to one hundred percent at the end, and you just want to keep on running at your fictional weight.  The machine has helped me a lot though, both with injuries and with helping me lean more toward a forefoot running style.  Plus, saying that you ran on an Anti Gravity Treadmill sounds pretty awesome. 
Sunday continued the running themed weekend, by volunteering for Marian House at a local run for 9/11.  Marian House is a housing program for women, who are either homeless, or have suffered from addiction, poverty, abuse or incarceration.  The program helps with transitioning their lives, and works to help their families as well.  I found out about the organization after competing in their fundraiser last year, and was happy with the chance to help.  At the event today we just handed out flyers about the fundraiser to finished runners, and told them about Marian House and its program. Additionally, we were also getting people to either continue running, or to start running! So by running, and promoting healthy lifestyles, we can help others as well – which between the stress of high school and college and life decisions, feels pretty good.

Live and Learn

 We had our first race at home on Monday, and… I didn’t do that well.  I went out too fast, and I lost it. Literally. I felt bad about it for a bit, but I know what I did wrong, so I know how to fix it.  I guess I still feel a bit bad.
Ah well, live and learn.

And there are plenty of races ahead to improve in!

You Know it's a Tough Hill When They Give it a Name

We had the first cross country workout of the year yesterday! And we survived! Workouts differ from runs, as we are given set distances to run and set times to hit.  For example, yesterday’s workout had us running 800meters, a 1000, 400s and 200s.  I have two other girls to run with, which both makes the practice more enjoyable, and the times easier to hit.  Also, in our fretting at the start of the repeats and pressing the wrong button on our watches, between the three of us one of us can hopefully get an accurate time. 
 Overall I enjoyed the workout, I hadn’t pushed myself that hard in a while (the kilometer killed me, but in my defense we overshot our time and ended up running too fast. BUT THAT IS STILL NOT AN EXCUSE!), and it felt good to get out of that comfort zone again.  I was able to reflect on the last home meet, and I didn’t hit that same “out-of-comfort-zone-level” that I did yesterday.   However, now that I am reminded of what it feels like I can look out for it this Saturday at Bull Run.(:
 Bull Run is an annual Cross Country meet held at Hereford High School, and its legend carried far enough to reach us when we were just in middle school (when I discussed running cross country with my fellow eight graders, they warned me of this race).  In seventh or eighth grade I even ran the “Baby Bull Run”, a shorter, easier cross country course for middle schoolers.   The actual Bull Run consists of the infamous “Dip”, a sharp downhill followed by a sharp uphill that appears twice in the course.  This will benefit me though, if not on Saturday, at least in the future.  The Dip will force me to run faster downhill (my fear, and general ability, of falling causes me to take down hills slower), and take the uphill strong! 

Back On My Feet

County Championships are this Saturday!  And based on last Saturday, I think we are going to do well – place wise and “PR" wise.
This past weekend our team went down to Baltimore to participate in the Baltimore Running Festival.  We ran the 5k for a charity called Back on My Feet, a nonprofit aimed at getting those who are homeless running, in order “to build confidence, strength and self-esteem” (http://baltimore.backonmyfeet.org/baltimore-landing.html).  The current Varsity team for the girls and guys went down early Saturday morning, and then we were able to stay at the Holiday Inn in Baltimore that night!  The whole thing was a lot of fun, and even though some us of are graduating (hopefully) this year, we plan to sign up for the festival again next year.
The majority of our team pr-ed (broke their personal record), and even those who didn’t, still did phenomenal.  They gave out aluminum blankets at the finish!-the kind that they give at big race events in order to keep you warm after the sweat and endorphins wear off.  Plus, we got free sunglasses!  So basically we came out of the race with awesome times, a shiny aluminum (or whatever awesome material the blanket was made of) capes and sunglasses- a recipe for success if I ever heard one.

County Championships

County Championships were last Saturday! and overall the team did really well, especially those running the JV and Open races, who all pr’d by huge amounts.  One girl went from running a 32:30 near the end of summer, to finishing her first cross country season with a 24:30. AHHH!(:
I have been running in my Vibram/New Balance shoes for the cross country races, but I found myself slipping enough on the course that I think I’m going to use spike for the Regional Championships.  I found my old spikes from ages ago, tried them on and ran in my backyard to test them out.  They feel awesome! Before when I wore spike I didn’t really feel the difference as I was still “heel-striking”, and with the spikes at the front of the foot I didn’t really feel their effect.  Tonight, however, I could, and I am so excited to race in them!
Unfortunately, this next week is a five-day school week (last week we had Friday off, so we only had to go to school for four days), and I’m afraid I might start out my Monday exhausted.  I picked up the book Unbroken by Lauren Hillenbrand earlier tonight, and I’m having a hard time putting it down.    Hillenbrand also wrote Seabiscuit, another amazing book.  The only reason I was able to tear myself away from the pages is to tell you this quote from the novel, “He didn’t run from something or to something, not for anyone or in spite of anyone; he ran because it was what his body wished to do.  The restiveness, the self-consciousness, and the need to oppose disappeared.  All he felt was peace”.
The book is about Louie Zamperini, an Olympic long distance runner who eventually becomes the victim of a plane crash during World War I.  I’m only on chapter four so I am just in the part when he is going to the Olympics in Berlin.  Not that I am bias because the protagonist is a long distance runner (because everyone knows runners are the best anyway), but the book is incredible and I highly suggest it.  In the part I am at now, he has become so impressed with the amount of food he has eaten that he wrote it all down on the back of an envelope.  I would write the list of food here, but it is far too amazingly long.  And anyways, now you have a reason to read the book.